Negative
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| Addict | -5 | You're addicted to drugs... all of them. Take any status-effect-causing drug on a regular basis to avoid withdrawal effects. | |
| Antisocial | -3 | Most people won't join your party | |
| Blahd Basher | -3 | Blahds will attack on sight. Extra XP for killing Blahds. | |
| Bodyguard | -9 | You are responsible for the well-being of an extremely important Musician who will follow you everywhere, and probably not cause any trouble whatsoever | |
| Bulky | -6 | Can't fit through doors or windows, sets Speed to 1 and keeps it there regardless of other circumstances | |
| Computer Illiterate | -1 | Can't use computers or other complicated tech | |
| Corruption Costs | -10 | Pay off the Cops whenever money is owed, either directly or through ATM | |
| Crepe Crusher | -3 | Crepes will attack on sight. Extra XP for killing Crepes. | |
| Diminutive | -4 | Short stature means you take more damage and inflict less damage, and can fit down toilets | |
| Fair Game | -10 | People will either run from you, or try to kill you | |
| Ideological Clash | -8 | Random people will turn Hostile when they see you. Law enforcement won't care if you retaliate. | |
| Jugularious | -4 | Blood is the only thing that can restore your health | |
| Loud | -2 | Make noise whenever you move | |
| Malodorous | -6 | Business owners want you to leave, humans won't join your party | |
| Near-Harmless | -8 | Can't use weapons, and fist attacks cause only 1 damage | |
| No Teleports | -6 | Can't teleport under any circumstances | |
| Oil Reliant | -4 | Health can be restored by Oil Container or Ammo Dispenser | |
| Pacifist | -4 | Can't use weapons, except for some thrown items | |
| Poor Hand-Eye Coordination | -1 | Your "(Doing something)..." bar fills much more slowly | |
| Sausage Fingers | -5 | Can't use any weapons, including thrown items | |
| Scientist Slayer | -2 | Scientists attack on sight. Extra XP for killing Scientists. | |
| Scumbag Slaughterer | -5 | Criminals and scumbags will become hostile and aggressive upon seeing you | |
| Skinny Nerdlinger | -1 | Knockback from damage is increased, more guns cause knockback when fired | |
| Specist | -2 | Gorillas attack on sight. Extra XP for killing Gorillas. | |
| Strict Cannibal | -5 | Human meat is the only food that can restore your health. Alcohol works too. | |
| Stubby Fingers | -3 | Can't use projectile weapons | |
| Sucker | -2 | Items in shops cost more | |
| Suspicious | -3 | Business owners want you to leave | |
| Vocally Challenged | -4 | Can't speak English | |
| Wanted | -5 | Cops will attack you on sight, business owners want you to leave. |