Consumables
Drugs, medicine and other one-use items, most with a status effect.
 Antidote | Cures negative status effects, and prevents new ones from taking effect. |  50 | Rare | |
 Blood Bag | Drink this for health if you have Jugularious. Otherwise, see a Doctor. | 20 | — | |
 Cigarettes | They make you look cool. C'mon, have one! All the other kids are doing it! | 15 | Common | |
 Cocktail | Serve chilled. Allow 5 seconds for effects to set in. | 40 | — | |
 Cologne | Most people on the floor who previously had no opinion of you, now like you. These happy times end after one floor. | 100 | — | |
 Critter Upper | Has literally nothing to do with small rodents, but does increase your chance of scoring a critical hit to 100%. | 50 | Rare | |
 Cyanide Pill | Maybe don't eat this. Seriously. | 150 | Rare | |
 Electro Pill | Gives you a ridiculous static charge, injuring anyone who comes in contact with your body. | 60 | Uncommon | |
| First Aid Kit | Some sort of crazy magical video game first aid kit that can heal your wounds in a split second. | 50 | Uncommon | |
 Flask | 5 | — | ||
 Giantizer | Didn't drink enough milk as a child? No matter, the Giantizer will make you freakishly huge. | 100 | Rare | |
 Killer Thrower | Ever wanted to be able to throw things at people and make them explode into giblets? LIVE YOUR DREAMS!!! | 50 | — | |
 Muscly Pill | Want to get buff? Or rather, get A buff? The answer is Muscly Pills. Makes your melee attacks temporarily stronger. | 40 | Uncommon | |
 Rage Poison | Drinking this will cause a person to rage at anyone in their path, causing a ridiculous hullabaloo. | 75 | Rare | |
 Resurrection Shampoo | "Resurrects dead hair, amongst other things." Namely, a human being. From death. Just drink it BEFORE you die. | 200 | — | |
 Shrinker | Shrinks you down to roughly the size of Mickey Rooney. | 50 | Rare | |
 Sugar | Speeds you up. Which is ironic, considering it also makes you fat. (Though not in this game.) | 50 | Uncommon | |
| Syringe | Who knows what effect this mysterious liquid will have on your body? | 50 | Common |